hey there.. haven been writing i n fer 2 daes..
i'm having so so much fun!!! wakakakakak~~!
asad and his unit make a chalet.. at pasiris costa sand..
cool!!! @ 1st i was like kinda awkwarrd ah around them but as times goes by, everything was aye-okay.. hee..

to be honest.. it's my first time with this kinda ppl..imean.. yeah.. they drink and stuffs..
surprisingli i can mix with them.. how cool can it be..???
some of them reali have nice tattoos..
GREAT!!!

i now @ the chalet.. just chillin.. new year's eve.. no resolution fer me.. except fer to make my asad happy, to treasure the bond i have with him.. he's the best that i ever had..

gtg.. love u aby!!!

mmmuuaahhh!!!!

hi.. goodness..it's half past 2 and i'm still wide awake..
how time pass by so fast.. haha..

heck.. today things were thrash out at store meeting.. imah started first.. that was when everyone start to say their part..
matin pour his heart out man..
faz.. chill dude..
i unhave to say a thing.. coz imah noe wad i was feelin and she thrash it out man..

COOL!AWESOME!

but y'noe.. sape makan ili, dier terase pedas.. wakakakakakak.. EVIL..

ardi imah sound den still ppl wanna shield themselves.. wad matin said was rite.. all the partners care for was knowin how to complain. imean.. take a look @ thyself first b4 sayin a werd.. why cant we just wer like a happi famili? w/o conflict? w/o us feelinthat there's ppl talkin behiind our back.. like think about it.. wad matin said make me cry.. i mean.. hello!!! i've got a soft spot..

he said someín like "i knoe i'm new.. but all of us have to improve ourselves rather den just complain here and there.. i wanna hold ur hand and walk together as partners, frens.. WE can make our werkin envrmt better.. why not ask ourselves how to make SUNTEC outlet better? to improve STARBUCKS SUNTEC?? if we can do this, i promise u guys werkin will be different.. it'll be better.. "

wow.. deep.. he reali mean it lor.. i mean ppl like hate him that kinda stuffs.. i noe some ppl dun reali like me too.. but heck.. we're here to werk.. as a family.. put our differences aside for once.. be happy.. we all want that.. dun we??

STARBUCKS PARTNERS.. I LOVE ALL OF U GUYS WHETHER U GUYS LIKE ME OR NOT.. I MEAN.. THIS IS ME.. WADDYA EXPECT? I CANT CHANGE.. BUT WE CAN CHANGE OUR WERKIN ENVRMT.. I REALI DO TREAT U GUYS AS PART OF ME.. MY FAMILY.. MY THIRD PLACE.. I NOE I CAN BE REALI DUMB AT TIMES.. I'M SORRY.. NOBODY'S PERFECT.. FORGIVE ME.. *gosh i'm crying.. so sissy..* I WANNA HOLD YA HANDS TOO.. TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE SUNTEC THE BEST OUTLET.. COS WE BELIEVE IN OURSELVES:DEEP INSIDE.. WE ARE THE BEST.. I LOVE U GUYS.. I REALLI DO.. I LEARN ALOT.. JOININ STARBUCKS WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENNED TO ME.. MY DREAM.. MY PASSION.. MY FUTURE.. LOVE YA.. PEACE...

P/S: imah, linda, ayu, shinyi, khairin, faz.. thanx.. thanx for just being there..

*fuck it.. i'm still crying.. goddamnmit..*

@ store now.. wearin so slack.. my beach shorts.. plus my u2 tank top.. hahak.. meetin my horny bastard later.. me now with ayu.. chillin.. she now on her half.. k la.. chiao amigos!!!

haha.. @ mac with shinyi now.. ermmm.... SHINYI?????!!!! hah.. lyk surprisingly.. i need to use the net and so does she.. i'm doin project for BCM.. on COFFEE.. i mean.. wad else can i talk about rite? i mean me.. lovin coffee and stuffs like that.. searching for pics on coffee.. anywae.. that horny bastard(my sayang) left his house keys wimme.. haha.. can intrude.. crap.. mite be meeting him tmr..

i tink i betta sign off now.. gotta do project liao.. (like real)

*so much for my happy ending.....*

i'm at store now.. waitin for kofi presentation.. i did my AIT exam 2dae..ok la.. should be can pass la.. anywae. cant write much.. gtg.. da....

anywae.. HAPPY BDAE ANDY!!!!

our class are so so dead.. as in dead meat.. haha.. in the morning, we wre fucked by 2 lecturers!! imagine.. and the person who fucked us wasn't female.. they were male.. imagine male lecturers scolding.. totally eeewwwhh...

felt guilty.. i haven been the best in class.. guess i'll never be.. haha.. i'm doin this for my mom.. to prove to her that i still wanna study.. i'm doin this to make her happy.. to make her proud.. though i din get to enter poly or JC.. it's the least that i can do to repay her for bringing me into this world..

though there's lots of shits in this world, imperfectness, she raised me up with lotsa love and protection.. i wanna be the best that i can be though not the best of the best.. i am wad i am.. i'll push myself to the limit if i have to..

if i dare to dream, i'm sure i can make the dream come true.. it's all in your mind.. ur heart sees things that ur eyes doesn't..

back to our class, m0st of them alwaes dun come for lessons, come late(me and ma peeps) and some dun even show respect to the teachers.. imagine how they feel.. we din even think of all this.. but when it's just too late, we start to regret..our class' name has been tarnish.. ruin.. other lecturers sees our class as a group of "tourists".. wat the FUCK????! we have to bring our name back to the top..

KB.. LET'S SHOW THEM WAD WE ARE MADE OF!!! WE MAY BE PLAYFUL, MAY BE LATE, MAY BE DISOBEDIENT, BUT WE WILL NEVER MAKE PEOPLE LOOK DOWN ON US! WHERE'S OUR PRIDE? PROVE IT.. IT'S THE LEAST THAT WE CAN DO TO MAKE SIR HAPPY AND TO BRING OUR NAME BACK TO GLORY!!!
________________________________________________________________________________

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made

It's so much easier to go
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame, to the grave

There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did

[Bridge]
There's a story in her eyes
Lullabies and goodbyes
When she's looking back at me
I can tell her heart is broken, easily

'Cause the girl in my mirror is cryin' tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright
Oh, the girl in my mirror is cryin' 'cause of you
And I wish there was something
Something I could do

If I could, I would tell her
Not to be afraid
The pain that's she feeling
The sense of loneliness will fade

So dry your tears and rest assured
Love will find you like before
When she's looking back at me
I know nothing really works that easily

[Chorus]
'Cause the girl in my mirror is cryin' tonight
And there's nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright
Oh, the girl in my mirror is cryin' 'cause of you
And I wish there was something
I wish there was something
Oh, I wish there was something I could do

I can't believe it's what I see
That the girl in the mirror
The girl in the mirror is me

I can't believe what I see, no, oh
Oh, the girl in my mirror
The girl in my mirror, is me
Oh, is me
[Chorus]

__________________________________________________________

I'm just a girl with a crush on you

I don't care about money
It doesn't give me half the thrill
To the thought of you honey
So tell me if you want me still
If only I could trade the fancy cars, for a chance today
Its incomparable
I might be sitting with the movie stars, everybody say
That I have it all

Chorus:
But I can't make you love me
Is it my life or the things I do?
I can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

I have been through changes
Yeah
But I'm still the girl you used to know
It's made me no different
So tell me why you have to go
Oh baby I would trade the fancy cars, for a chance today
Its incomparable
I might be sitting with the movie stars, everybody say
That I just have it all

Chorus

Just the thought of being close to you
Its incomparable
I should be happy with the life I live
And the things I do, seems like I have it all

Can't make you, make you love me baby
It's my life, what can I do?
Can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

Chorus

_____________________________________________________________

I'm just a girl with a crush on you

I don't care about money
It doesn't give me half the thrill
To the thought of you honey
So tell me if you want me still
If only I could trade the fancy cars, for a chance today
Its incomparable
I might be sitting with the movie stars, everybody say
That I have it all

Chorus:
But I can't make you love me
Is it my life or the things I do?
I can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

I have been through changes
Yeah
But I'm still the girl you used to know
It's made me no different
So tell me why you have to go
Oh baby I would trade the fancy cars, for a chance today
Its incomparable
I might be sitting with the movie stars, everybody say
That I just have it all

Chorus

Just the thought of being close to you
Its incomparable
I should be happy with the life I live
And the things I do, seems like I have it all

Can't make you, make you love me baby
It's my life, what can I do?
Can't make you love me
I'm just a girl with a crush on you

Chorus

______________________________________________________________

Calling out your name
Your face is everywhere
I'm reaching out to you
To find that you're not there
I wake up every night
To see the state I'm in
It's like an endless fight
I never seem to win

I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering

:Chorus:
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go

I can hear your voice
The ring of yesterday
It seems so close to me
But yet so far away
I should let it out
To save what's left of me
And close the doors of doubt
Revive my dignity

But, I can't go on as long as I believe
Can't let go when I keep wondering(oh yeah)

:Chorus:
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go

I should let it out, it's time to let you go
Oh baby, I just want to know

:Chorus:
Where are you now, what have you found
Where is your heart, when I'm not around
Where are you now, you gotta let me know
Oh baby, so I can let you go
(repeat)

____________________________________________________________

haha.. i know.. britney is so NOT me.. but her songs are meaningful..

wow.. weekend was great.. had lots of fun.. on saturdae, sent kak amy and bai faraz off at airport.. they went to switzerland and paris.. wow!!! how i envy them.. they look so so good together.. haha.. they must be having so much fun now over there.. after sending them off, me & asad went home and waited for my dad to come home from work and then, we head for town to catch our midnite show.. KING KONG!!! it was great!! a freakin nice movie to watch!! reminds me of Zameer!! haha!!! big sized yet soft in heart.. HAHA!!!!

anywae.. ystrdy went to huda's wedding.. she lookin good!! haha.. me & azimah wonderin when's our turn.. perhaps next 6 years.. haha.. i was tinkin of taking up bike license.. i made up my mind ardi.. i nekad ardi.. anywae.. gotta comcentrate in class b4 this tcher actualli kill me.. me doing this.. mursh is in friendster.. haha.. both notty gerl.. yaya and syikin nvr come..

CROPPER!!!! URGH!!!! ain't gonna say more.. gtg..

Ciao amigos!!!

haha.. change of plan.. there wont be any picnic in the morning tmr..
AAAGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! so angry... but trying to be chill abt it..
he gotta help his dad in the morning.. lotsa deliveries to do..
it's okie.. meeting him tmr.. either in the afternoon or evening.. haha..
it's okie.. i'm okie.. UURGGHHHH!!!! I'M NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!
hee.. there goes my plan of having a romantik morning with my babyboi..
tmr yaya's bdae!!!

happy bdae to u
happy bdae to u
happy bdae to my best fwen, yaya!!!!!!
happy bdae to u!!!!!!!!

*applause!!!!1*

to yaya: tmr go out with Ruzaini dun notty2 eh... haha.. take care babe!!

happy bdae to u
happy bdae to u
happy bdae to my shmuggem shmuggem shnort!!!
happy bdae to u!!!

I LOVE U!!!!

cant wait to go with u to east coast for our lil picnic tmr..

u & me..
hand in hand..
strolling by the beach..
whisper sweet nothing..

i feel guilty
my words are empty
no signs to give u
i dun have the time for u

u say i'm heartless
and you say i dun care
i used to be there for u
& u've said i seem so dead
that i've changed
but so have u

guilty, guilty i feel so
empty, empty u noe hoe to make me feel

i put a shield upon u
i din mean to hurt u
i would'vr onli poisoned ur mind
never meant to make u cry

u've been so thoughtless
i can see rite thru u
u used to be there 4 me
so dun u leave say goodbye
cause u have changed
but so have i

i never thought that the time and distance
b/w us made u so much colder
i'll carry the world on my shoulders

haiz... ystrdy.. werkin..

as u can guess.. somehow rather it sucks.. i was sick.. been coughing and coughing til i almost vomit.. like GROSS!!! eeewwwwhh! khairin was werkin.. shinyi.. fazli.. ayu.. evelyn.. nurul.. fara.. MOD: Dean!! *yay*

y'noe. shinyi and i haven been close lately.. i meaan.. we dun even do things together anymore..! dun try to ask me wat's wrong coz i myself got no idea.. haha.. talked to khairin about it.. he just lend a listening ear.. i dunno.. den i coloured her la..

Shinyi: y like that sia? i at werk also i never disturb u..
Fai: of cos la u never disturb me.. i mean since when did we ever werk together recently?? since when did we hang out together?
Shinyi: wa lao.. say until lyk that..
Fai: i mean correct wad.. u dun even come round my house no more. tell me when was the last time we went shopping together? when was the last time we hang around Serangoon mac?
Shinyi: aiya.. i werkin ma...
Fai: oh ya.. like as if i'm not skoolin and werkin as well.. if u can have the time to come store during ur free days y not just hang out?

URGGHH!! lazy to talk about it.. & when i went out with ayu and linda, she say i never jio her along.. haiz.. haha.. frens for 4 years plus plus plus.. den suddenli like this.. FUCKIN CHILDISH la this situation.. haha..

oh ya.. i felt disheartened.. do u knoe that i'm like the freakin of the fuckin last person to know that she quit skool ardi and guess wad. i din even hear it from her own mouth.. haha.. anywae.. she's been smokin heavily.. she wanted to stop.. but ya'know.. temptations all around i guess.. one must be dicipline in order to stop.. she's 18.. young adult.. should know la ah wad she doing. got her mind of her own.

i've got my heart to mend.. haha.. sounds so so SISSY!!! but she's my best fren.. i care alot for her.. maybe she just dunno.. or dun realize.. naah.. i dunno..

anywae.. signin off ardi.

P/S: shinyi.. though i never sae it as often as i do.. u take care aight. may peace and joy will always be with u.. stay crazee!!!

"let the eyes see for itself.. but let the heart seeks the truth in it.."

"so hold me when i'm here
right me when i'm wrong
hug me when i'm scared
& love me when i'm gone.
coz everything i am
is everything u need
wanted me the best
u ever wanted me to be.
i'll never let u down
even if i could.
give up everything
is onli for ur good.
so hold me while i'm here
right me when i'm wrong
hug me when i'm scared
u'know i'll always be there
so love me when i'm gone..."

"& i can't keep on living this way
i need u here with me.
why did He take u away from me?
it'shard for me to tell u "I LOVE U"
as i'm standing over ur grave
& i know i'll never hear your voice again.
y did u leave me?
y couldn't u just stay?
bcos my world is nothing w/o u
& that i dunno wat to do with myself.
i would've given you everything
just to make u happy.
just to hear u say that u love me one last time.
i'll go held them back
over & over again
just to prove to u
how much i need u here
there is nothin that i wouldn't do..."

ONE MORE DAY TO MY SHWEETIEPIE BDAY.. MISSIN HIM..

"as years go by i race the clock with u..
but if u die rite now, u know that i die too..
u remind me of the time
when i know who i was..
but still the 2nd hand will catch us
like it alwaes does..
we make the same mistakes
i'll take the fall for u..
i hope u need this now
cos i know i still do.."

"here i go..
so dishonestly..
leave a note..
for u my onli one..
& i know..
u can see rite thru me..
so let me go..
& u will find someone..."

"from up here the city lights up
like a thousand miles of fire..
& i'm here to sing the anthem
of our dying day.."

haiz...

feel so low suddenly..
i dunno.. i mean thinkin about the phrase again.. "wat if ur best fren was the "ONE" for u and not ur current one?? i must be sick thinkin about this..

wat if i were to ever lose asad?
wat if we were not meant to be together now? but maybe in the future?
wat if ....
wat if ....

URGGGHHHH!!!!

ILOVEASADULLAH..!!!(i'll never get tired of saying this)

the future is not in our hands..
but in HIS..
HE draws the paths for us
but it's up to us to decide where to go...
HE never wanted us to suffer..
but at times we are the one asking for it..

w/o suffering, there'll be no love..
w/o love, there'll be no compassion..

Peace out.....

if u marry me
will u bury me?
will u carry me til the end?
so say goodbye
to the vows u take
& say goodbye
to the life u make
& say goodbye
to the heart u break
and all the cyanide u drank...

love is the red the rose on ur coffin door
wat's life like bleeding on the floor??

wat's the worse u take from every heart u break??
& like the blade u stain
well i've been holding on tonite..

i'm taking back the life u stole.
this hole u put me in wasn't deep enuff
& i'm climbing out rite now
u're running outta places to hide from me..

So Long & Goodnite...........

my asad..

nobody gonna love me better
i must stick with u forever
nobody gonna take me high
i must stick with u
u know how to appreciate me
i must stick with u my baby
nobody ever make me feel this wae
i must stick with u......

urgh...!!! missin my romance.. i wont get to c him til saturday.. his bday is this fridae... perhaps i'll cook for him den we'll go for a simple picnic.. hee..

*i'll be lost in space w/o u darling....*

"i lead my life
u lead urs
love me or hate me
that's who i am....."
_____________________________________________________________

i love u
since u came into my life
i look forward to each sunrise.
the early morning with u in my arms
the midnite sky with us beneath the glitter stars moves me.
u make me feel like no one else could
i like the person i am with u
u bring out the part of me that i never thought existed.
a part that was born with our first kiss
u made me complete,
now i have a reason to try,
now i have a cause,
a reason to believe.
in all the wonderful things life have to offer
u took my hand and drew me into the light.
& u saw in me all the qualities
that no one else have ever noticed.
u gave me hope, inspiration, pride and love.
Yes, i love you for all these reasons
& for so much more
i love u for being urself
& i love u bcos of the person u made me...

LOVE U ASADULLAH


anywae.. enuff of mushy stuffs.. haha..

ystrdy.. went to that bowling thingy.. haha.. remembered i was lyk totally against the idea..? haha.. in the end, i enjoyed myself la.. hahak!!! we went there played with our classmates den after the whole thing, we went to marina square to bowl again.. HAHAK!!! buat lawak!! cool la..

after bowling, we went to esplanade!!! we lyk tourists like that.. kept taking photographs..haha. and asking ppl to take for us.. met lotsa diff ppl there.. the MATS.. the MINAS.. the PUNKS.. oh... wadeva!!!

i tink i gonna fail. my AIT.. stoopid advanced IT.. totally hate it.. the onli subject that i totally tak favour..

my voice getting from bad to worse....!!!

URGH!!!! i'm left with no more voice... AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

sick!!!! stoopid sore throat... i hate this feeling.. totallly.. just finish work... today was a gud day.. imah, linda, ayu, ain, andy ah zhen and mayying was werkin.. haha.. kecoh!! drastic!!! cool!! had so much fun though i'm havin sore throat. haha..

ystrdy went shopping with asad..bought a leather bag.. the one i've been eyeing to have.. my asad bought a specs.. it's cool.. nice prints on the inside.. when he wore it.. i must say he look intellectual.. HAHA!!

Pride n Prejudice is a MUST-WATCH movie.. i mean to those who love literature.. keira knightly is just so hot.. waitin for my ANGEL DREW(Mursh) to arive. after that hangin around with linda and ayu.. the 3 of us are so so close.. kept hangin around.. the other day went sheesha.. wooh!!! crazee!!! we gonna do it every month our pay day!!!

miss my elder bro..

nywae. gotta go.. talk to ya tmr..

*y izzit that when everything is perfect, something imperfect alwaes happen???*

Urgh.. seriously.. i got no more voice left.. totally no voice.. kin, mursh, yaya kept disturbing me about my voice.. i sound like ella.. ya'know the malay rock queen.. WAKE ME UP!!!! so sleepy..

LAME!!! today we have inter-class bowling match.. lame-ass.. urgh.. of all things that my skool can offer.. haha.. i'd rather have inter-class captain's ball or netball match.. something that can make me sweat.. i mean bowling???? wat were they thinkin man... it's just lame.. total disgrace.. total lame..

one of the twins(khairun) at my store going to NS tmr.. it's sad.. so sad.. haha..
i bet khairin(the other half) will be alone.. though they are guys, i mean everyone will be feelin that wae to c the other half gone just like that.. unseparable since birth..haiz...

waitin 4 the tcher to start lesson.. waitin 4 the rest of my classmates to come.. onli 10 ppl in class..inclusive of me.. how pathetic can it be....PATHETIC.. SIMPLY PATHETIC!!!!!

anywae.. have this thought ever cross your mind that ur best fren mite just be the one for u??? the man in your life?? ur soulmate??? and not ur current one?? hmmmm..

UNWELL...

hey..a virgin to blogging.. haha.. anyway.. my bro entered NS this morning.. i salam him b4 i went to skool and asked him 4 a hug.. he said i manje..

i mean....HALLO!!!! i'm close to him.. lyk duh.. miss him alot.. especially while helping out do closing.. i was looking at the marked-out pastries.. there's Chicky chipolata.. make me think of him.. he used to asked me to bring home all this stuffs so that he can "sample" them... but.. he's in there.. *sigh*

Goodness.. the wae i'm writing it is lyk as though he's no more.... CRAP!!

URGH!!

anyway.. eating supper with Kiat,Andy & Ah Zhen..

missing my SHMUGGEM SHMUGGEM SHNORT...!! gonna c him later evening.. LOVE U ASAD!!

Gotta chiao for now..
Peace..

*so y should i take your hands when u cant promise Happy Ending????*

Fairuza Bte Abdul Hamid.. yeah.. that's my name..
yo peeps.. wow.. my own blog at last.. ain't reali got the time to do it last time.. basically.. i'm a simple gerl who simply love PUNKROCK music and anything that involves having fun..

SENSITIVITY..
LOVING..
PUNKROCK..
OPTIMISTIC..
CARING..
GOTHIC..
WEIRD SENSE OF DRESSING..
FREAKY..
CRAZEE..
LOUD..
ASAD..(MYLIFE..MYSOUL..MYROMANCE..)
DIFFERENT..

I love being different from the crowd.. Being the same is...hmmmm... BORING!!!!