hey.. last saturdae/sundae was a dae/nite(24/02--25/02) to rmbr.. quarrel with asad from 12 plus til 2 plus.. dunnoe wad's our problem sei.. in the morning, everything was cool.. it was lovey dovey.. missing each other.. afternoon will be more like frens. chilling around on the phone.. but when nite came, it disastrous!!!! haiz.. i told him.. "u alwaes sae wanna end this in a nice wae but at the same time u're alwaes be talking AMAN AMAN AMAN AMAN AMAN!!!! haiz.. penat sei gado dgn Asad.. lyk wadda hell ah.. when i told him that i feel hurt whenever he said such stuffs.. and he bang bang me saeing "oh.. u noe how to feel hurt..?" wadda fuck la.. very very tired..

ystrdy Aman went to sentosa with his family.. he ajak-ed me.. giler!!! after that he ajak-ed me go hard rock pulak.. but mama at home.. so yeah.. i also dun wan go.. but he din go in the end cos he sick!!! haha!!! he fever fever.. told him to take care of himself if he not, whu's gonna take care of him?? and he said "u lor".. suke suke je... hee.. actualli tak pasal la.. but not now.. i can care fer him as a freaking close fren onli.. haha.. den he sae betta not go hard rock if not he'll drink til he knock out.. wad crap.. minom minom minom!!! drink drink drink onli.. i told him that he's a disappointment cos he said he wanna start prayin but den still wanna drink.. i told him that i dun wanna take care of him if he continue drinking.. he can jolly well take care of himself.. SACRIFICE.. yeah sacrifice is the werd.... haiz..

at times i questioned maself.. are we(me and asad) doin the rite thing?? haiz.. it just hurts alot.. but yet, both of wan it.. lotsa dates stored in ma brains.. lotsa memories along the wae.. lotsa conversations we had and still lots more left unsaid.. it hurts to control ma tears and pour it all out on ma bed at nite.. why?? everything happens fer a reason.. that's wad we both said and agreed on.. i love u.. i am wad i am todae cos of u.... if we were to ever have other person in our life, i'll not call him by the name that i called u.. pls do the same k.. and dun bcos of wad i did to u, u're gonna treat other gerls like shit.. give them a chance to love u.. give them a chance to make u happier.. thanx.. aniwae Bi.. if u were to ever read ma blog, if u were to ever get to read this, this song is fer you..

Say Goodbye -Chris Brown

Look
We Gotta Talk
Dang! I know, I know
It's just some things
I gotta get off my chest
Alright
Yeah
Oh ooh oh ooh oh ooh oh
[VERSE 1]
Baby come here and sit down, let's talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by
Saying that I love you
But you know, this thing ain't been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it'll only take a minute
You'll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don't wanna see you cry
But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so
[HOOK]
How do you let it go?
When you
You just don't know?
What's on
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand
Cause I kno...
[CHORUS]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you, it's me
I gotta gotta figure out what I need
Oh
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
[VERSE 2]
But now your heart is breaking
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"
Why am I taking so long to say this?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Though I would see the day we grew apart
And I wanna know
[HOOK]
How do you let it go?
When you
You just don't know?
What's on
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Girl I hope you understand
What I'm tryna say
We just can't go on
Pretending that we get along
Girl how you not gonna see it?
[CHORUS]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me
I gotta gotta figure out what I need
Oh
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye
[BRIDGE]
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh [x2]
Do you hear me crying?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
There's never a right time...
[CHORUS] [x2]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me
I gotta gotta figure out what I need
Oh
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say (echos then fades)

Asad.. i'm sorry if i hurt u..
sorry if i gave u shit.. perhaps it's never meant to be..
i'll be missing u BIG time..
u'll be kept close to ma heart.. i promise..........